2013 LESSONS FOR 2014

Happy New Year lovelies!!!
It's a brand new year .... 
2013 went a bit faster than I usually think each year or maybe it's just me. I've heard quite a few comments from people saying how much they enjoyed last year and looking forward to the exciting things 2014 is going to bring them. Whereas there are also the few who said that 2013 was the worst year of their lives with it's very challenging situations which they had to face. Mine was a mixture of the two. There were many brilliant moments last year like the new addition to our family and spending time with this one person.... But there were also times that I struggled with many personal issues which I had never dealt with in the past. Through them all, I have become much stronger and have learnt some lessons which I hope to apply to my life in the coming future. Here are a few!

LESSONS LEARNED IN 2013

1. Forgiveness is difficult when you look at the one who offended you.

2. When you forgive others, it shows that you love yourself and are actually doing yourself a favour.

3. Not everyone who comes into your life as a friend actually is a friend, open your eyes. 

4. Some people come into your life as a lesson, learn them.

5. When people leave, it is for your own good even though it might not seem like it at first.

6. Listen to your inner man, he will always tell you the truth.

7. God always speaks to us, be attentive and listen.

8. Be true and truthful to yourself and others ALWAYS, it will benefit you in the end.

9. Have the courage to let go of things that do not grow you or serve you.

10. You are worth more, don't let circumstances and people determine your worth.

11. You are good enough, always

12. Be happy, Build yourself, Learn yourself and Grow yourself

13. Learn from your mistakes, though they might seem expensive and painful, they are always good ways to grow so don't be afraid to make them.

14. Live, Love, Forgive and Learn

15. Let go of the past

16. The best moments in life are those moments when we totally let go and just live.

I hope you've picked up a few pointers from my list so far. God is full of surprises and I'm very much looking forward to what He has in store for me this year. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR STILL....

LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF FEARS

Yesterday I faced my fear. The best thing I did all day. My fear grew bigger the more I heared people speak of it. So I spent almost a year avoiding something so little which had become so great in my mind. Yet I sang, throughout that time that The Lord was my shepherd and so I would fear no evil.... The irony of the matter was that I was afraid.

I read an update from Pastor Mensah Otabil saying, "This week, put a smile on someone's face, HELP SOMEBODY TO STAND. SPEAK THOUGHTFULLY. BE GENTLE. Surprise someone with a random act of kindness. BE A BLESSING THIS WEEK. What you do for others, God will do for you." 

A day before facing my fear, I had gone to speak to one of my managers at my work concerning not working in a particular area of my workplace. She asked me the reason why and I let her know that it was partly because of the stories I had heard which had resulted in my hesitation to take the plunge. She was very familiar with this because many others had avoided this particular area because of a similar reason so she spoke kindly to me concerning this issue, encouraged me to take the step and get it done and also provided contact details of other members of staff who were available mainly for this kind of issue. She stated that she would review in a month's time where I was concerning this issue. I left the office feeling positive and very encouraged by what she had said as she had thrown a new and different light concerning this issue. 

After work, I went home, discovered Mensah Otabil's update and thought, "oh wow this is what the manager did for me at work today"- by helping me to stand up against my fear through speaking gently and thoughtfully to me- and so I took the plunge and booked a shift in that area. I prayed about my fears and encouraged myself with bible verses talking about trust in The Lord in times of fear 

Psalm 56:3- "WHEN I AM AFRAID, I PUT MY TRUST IN YOU"

This helped me a lot and after prayer I said to myself that I would not meditate on this issue again because the more I thought about it, the more daunting it seemed. 

I woke up on the day feeling ready to face whatever it was that everyone was talking about. At work, there were one or two glitches and that was about it concerning all the horror stories I had heared. In fact, I thought to myself, I have faced a few worse than this, but I guess maybe I haven't spent as much time there so I cannot completely draw a conclusion. But the long and short of the story is that, sometimes we tend to exaggerate fears in our minds which cause us to me stagnant. 

God has not put in us a spirit of fear but of love, of power and of a sound mind. Hence, it is important that we recognise that where there is fear, there is the absence of love and where there is love there is the absence of fear. 

After work I was glad I had worked in that area and I thought to myself... "Thank you God for how it went today".

In all I'm glad I took the plunge and my conclusion is that I should let love govern my steps not fear for as the bible says, love covers a multitude of sins, in my case, it covers a multitude of fears. 

ADIOS. 

AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

A week ago, I visited my sister and a friend after going to town to sort out a couple of things. The previous day, I had been reading a book on starting a new business. One of the topics in the book talked about facing one's fears and so the book requested that we list the things that we are afraid of and what we thought would happen if we attempted them. I listed quite a few and put up the positive things that could happen if I decided to take a chance on them. The following morning, I realised that for some reason I was getting a bit unhappy with my circumstance. I was getting worried about the things I was looking forward to and didn't seem to be happening. I felt a tad bit sad and I think I shed a few tears when some results I was waiting for returned and they weren't the ones I was hoping for. Mind you, they were the wrong results which I was given ( I found out the following day) but because worry had overshadowed me, it added salt to injury.

So I decided to go and see my friend and sister and when I got there, we were having random conversations and the topic of "worrying" popped up. My sister stated that she had noticed that I had lost weight and my friend commented on the fact that I looked worried and asked if I was worrying too much. She spoke about the things that she had gone through at certain points in her life and how she had tried to keep her head held high and have the right attitude in those circumstances

Today, I watched one of Creflo dollars' messages entitiled "The attitude of affection" and he placed an emphasis on the fact that as Christians we need to have the right attitude towards God in every circumstance. That our attitude in life determines our altitude (i.e. how high we go).One phrase that stuck out to me was "You will arrive at the place of your attitude". This was evident in my case when I began to worry because, I forgot about all the brilliant things occurring in my life for a second and decided to direct my focus on those that had not happened as well as worry about the "potential wrongs" that could happen essentially causing me to be overwhelmed and depressed.

The other few things I learnt were that 

1. My attitude determines whether things will work out

2. With an attitude of Gratitude, I should serve God

3. My position of affection towards God will determine my success in everything I do in line with God's word

To emphasise on no. 2, I'm gradually learning that my service to God does not only include me working for God in church but also the way I react in various circumstances.

So e.g. If I find that I have no money and I continuously murmur and complain about it, that is indirectly a "disservice" to God. In exodus 15 and 16, the Israelites had been set free from captivity in Egypt and God had provided so much for them yet when they wanted something else and had not received it, they murmured against Moses and essentially against God and God heard these murmurings.

Numbers 11:1

"And when the people complained, it displeased the Lord: and the Lord heard it and his anger was kindled; and the fire of the Lord burnt among them and consumed them that were in uttermost parts of the camp"

From this verse, it is clear that God is not cool with murmurings and complains. Therefore it is important that we have the right attitude towards Him in all circumstances and that our position in those circumstances include being APPRECIATIVE, GRATEFUL, THANKFUL and HONOURABLE as in the end these will create a FRUITFUL disposition. But a contrary attitude will cause us to serve LACK as written in Deuteronomy 28:47

"Because thou servedst not the Lord thy God with joyfulness, and with gladness of heart, for the abundance of all things; Therefore shalt thou serve thine enemies which the Lord shall send against thee, in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, and in want of all things: and he shall put a yoke of iron upon thy neck, until he have destroyed thee"

So I guess all I'm saying is that I should learn to be more thankful in my circumstances as this is God's will for my Life [1 Thessalonians 5:18 "In everything, give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you"]

Gracias a Dios por esta palabras- Thank you God for this word

LISTENING!!!

I read a post a few weeks back on "the art of listening". Before that, I had spoken to my cousin and there had been a misunderstanding between us on a decision we were supposed to be making at some point. During the conversation, I realised that I was very keen on making my point clear, being argumentative and making assumptions on what I thought my cousin meant. He pointed out that when I am speaking to someone, I should listen well to what the person is saying before I speak. Something which I found quite insulting at the time and had an "all new" argument with him lol but anyway I'm gonna get straight to the point

After the conversation, I went about my normal duties yet the whole conversation ran through my mind again and I thought to myself "you are sometimes too keen on picking fights and assuming"

But that's not the issue here. The issue is my ability to listen attentively, be slow to speak and quick to hear as the Bible recommends that believers should do.

Because of this I embarked upon the journey to learn the act and art of listening. I read a post titled The art of listening in which an exercise requested that I listen to my favourite music and try to listen to every single word in the song. True to the findings in the post, I ended up drifting away about halfway through the song. I tried again as was requested by the exercise and the second and third times I drifted off again. This made me realise two things about my listening ability.

1. Familiarity (assumptions) prevents me from paying attention
2. I don't really listen to the words when I'm listening to music

So after these two discoveries, I followed up a link on conversations- urges of an untamed mind and I learnt a few things about conversations. About the fact that there are different forms of conversation that we have as humans. Sometimes its in the form of speaking, other times, its watching others speak and at certain times its through our own mental conversations which we have. And most at times these conversations prevent us from truly listening.

For instance, in my conversation with my cousin and even with other people, I've realised that often when the other person is speaking, I am already making up my own story in my head as to what to give as a reply hence preventing me from truly listening to the other person. The post also gave an instance of people who have conversations and never listen but are only waiting for the other person to finish so that they can give their own opinion on the issue (i.e me sometimes).

So I found here a video by Iyanla Vazant  on Listening. It just summarises the simplicity of listening; that the true art of listening is without judgement or expectation but is a process of love which comes from the "right now" moment when you make a connection with the person that you're talking to and finally, it comes from the heart

After realising these things about myself, I have decided to make a deliberate effort to be silent at certain points in the day, for I realise that sometimes silence brings more peace than noise and in so doing I'll learn to practice my listening much better than I have been doing so far.

I remember- The joys of being a child in Africa

I remember as a child, the many times myself and my siblings would walk about our neighbourhood exploring the different places we could find
I remember when the Muslims used to celebrate "idr-fetir", the festival after their fasting period.
It was always fun because we used to see the many different cattle and how big they were. Some with horns, others without and some so strong, it took more than 5 men to bring them down before they could be slaughtered for the festival
I remember the many different coloured outfits people would wear out just to display the festive spirit.
I remember the foods which were sent over by the Muslim friends which the whole family enjoyed .

I remember Easter, when we used to make palm nut soup and different decorative items with the palm branches
I remember when the church would walk around the neighbourhood singing songs of "hoseana, (Ashanti way of pronouncing hosanna" just to commemorate the entry of Christ into Jerusalem
I remember Christmas  It was a beautiful time to have chicken. Yes Chicken!!! and all the many meals which we could eat just because it was Christmas!
I remember 24th December, the night before the real day of Christmas  when music would be played so loud and Christmas lights would be displayed infront of our family house; many neighbours would walk past and some would stay just to enjoy the festive spirit
I remember when we were bought beautiful dresses and new underwear, socks, shoes and jewellery just to go to church on Sunday to celebrate Christmas
I remember when we used to go to the rubbish dump site to explore the surroundings. It was always a fun opportunity to find objects which we could play with on our return home
I remember when we used to make little soups and stews in empty cans of tomatoes which we could find in our little pretend kitchens
I remember when we used to play "mum, dad and family" with our cousins and sometimes one of us would get upset and decide not to play
I remember when my grand mother would buy us little mortars, pestles and ladles to make our own "fufu" and soup
I remember when she used to go to the farm and return a few days later with bananas, plantain and other food stuff.
I remember the plant she called "see koto" which we used to knock each other on the head with just for the fun of it
I remember when my cousin would intentionally drop his meat into our soup just so he could pick it up and scoop some of thesoup up whilst doing it
I remember when my auntie would leave some of her evening rice till morning and the first person to find it would have the right to eat it with the tasty tomato stew from the previous day
I remember when my aunt used to go on her trips and we had to clean up the house and set it in order before she arrived to avoid gettingtold off
I remember when my teeth used to hurt in the evenings because I had stuck tooth picks in the gaps to get out locked up food.
I remember the times I cried and my older sister would pick me up andgive me a "piggy back" just to calm me down
I remember when my sister, myself and my cousins would sing and drum on anything we could find just to make music
I remember the ants in Ghana which would bite us and leave bumps which itch so much so that we immediately developed hatred for them and wanted to squash them the moment we found the "culprit ant"
I remember the times when we were told scary stories of the Ghosts of people dying in one town and being found in another
I remember the Nigerian movies that used to scare us so much because of the "Juju" which was portrayed in them
I remember when life was so simple, beautiful and fun without costing money
I remember the good old days and now I thank God for bringing me up in Africa to enjoy the simplicity of life in my childhood.

By Trudie

What do you remember as a child?

7 THINGS I'M THANKFUL FOR

"Focusing on gratitude unleashes the love that lives within"- Gabrielle Bernstein

Lately, I've figured that I have mainly focused on negative things which I've felt have happened to me and to be honest it has become an energy drainer. So I came across MISSLARA's blog update on "11 things I'm thankful for" and I thought "why not do the same?"...I wanted to put up 10 things I'm thankful for but 7 just popped up in my head so I figured I'd put them on here and build up on it in my next posts. Let's see how watchful I'll be in the next few days to notice the good things going on as well and truly appreciate them.

Colossians 3:15 "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in onebody; and be ye thankful"

1. Family (Dad, mum, siblings, cousins etc)

2. Friends

3. Graduating from university- (The opportunity to go to university and graduate; I learnt quite a lot whilest I was there and would definitely recommend it to anyone)

4. Life

5. Experiences-  The good and the bad- They've made me better

6. Opportunities- They give me a chance to explore (realise) my potentials and develop

7. Laughter- Brings instant joy and happiness

So what are you guys thankful for? Care to share!!!

Your Identity Shapes Me Too

So I was just watching this video and it made me think of the effect that the people surrounding us (i.e. parents, friends, acquintances e.t.c) have on us. So I thought I'd share it.

Be careful of the people you surround yourself with & listen to. They all nurture a behaviour in you.

Would you like the positive ones to grow or the negative? It's definitely your choice!!!!!!

THE CONSEQUENCE OF A LIE

"Avoid fear for it is the consequence of every lie"

9 THINGS I'VE LEARNT THIS WEEK

1. Be willing to step out there on faith
2. It's not how heavy the load is you carry; It's how you carry the load
3. Don't lose sight of the mission
4. Count your blessings each day
5. Get a grip of what has a grip of you
6. Drop activities that sap your energy
7. The borrower is servant to the lender
8. Do not borrow unless it is to create wealth
9. Whatever takes money out of your pocket is a liability

Ambition!!

Texttexttiles blogged this video by TDS on "Ambition" and drive and I was inspired after watching this so i thought I'd share. I hope you are too.

 

Have a pleasant week!

7 things I've learnt

I just thought I'd reenact berry-haute's blog on "seven things I've learnt this week" as I find it quite interesting.

I've learnt that;

1. Jealousy creeps in when I only focus on other people's achievements and not my own- figured it out when I always missed a beat when I looked at certain people...It was hatred for the things they did turned eventually to jealousy- God help me

2. I need to learn how to be a better friend

3. sometimes it takes God to help us love even our family the way they should be loved- it doesn't come as naturally as I originally assumed

4.  I need to be courageous in other to be free

5.  whatever I want, I should make an effort to go for it. If I don't get it in the end, at least I tried

6.  I have to get my eyes off others, stay before God, forget my past and recondition myself in order to be content with my present state and not complain- I'm working on that

7.  I need to treat my studies as a critical component of my kingdom assignment

8. 30years experience is not the same as a 1 year experience over 30years

9. I need to stop winging about things and get them done

10. Fear is a lie-

11. I need to start studying finance and money to know what to do with the money God gives me

Thought I'd just make it 11 for the sake of it...
What have you learnt in the past few weeks and how have you gone about with the knowledge you've acquired?

xoxo- Berry Lessons!

Interdependence!

So many including myself are "guilty of independence". Watch this video to grasp the concept of depending on one another to attain success instead of sweating it out all by ourselves just to say we did it alone!

Let's make good use of the people and resources God has placed in our lives' journeys so that our work will be much more easier in the end + we'll be able to gain more knowledge along the way.

Genesis 2:18 "And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him an help meet for him"

New Year New Resolutions!

I asked my friend what her new year's resolution was for 2012 and she simply said "to take care of myself"..That's a pretty good one I think. Last year I made a list in my head but at the end of the year i realised that I couldn't remember what they were so this year I thought I'd make a written list. Hopefully I'll actually get down to doing them. So here are a few of mine.
1. Save money- £500
2. Learn spanish
3. Work harder
4. Get a Job
5. Get a phone
6. Sleep early= 12:00pm
7. Manage my time properly

Trying to be specific as I've learnt that setting specific goals gives permission to achieve specific results. On that note I'd like to say HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE.

Proverbs 16:9 "A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps"

Care to share you new year's resolutions?

HARD WORK

Hope you're blessed by it coz I am...:-)

layin in ma bed- hard work!!

I'm going back to university by the end of this week...it's my final year and so far I've been thinking of how fast its all passed me by...well nearly.
Last year I thought to myself, "i'm gonna work so hard that I get a "1st" each time in my reports...well it happened once and then everything changed..."went downhill" is the wrong statement to use in this instant coz it depicts that I have been ungrateful for how far the Lord has brought me...so I guess i won't use that phrase....because I am very very thankful at the same time

Anyway we're going back as i said and I keep thinking of how I'm going to achieve my goal this time though it's a completely different circumstance....well maybe....in that I've got to work, while I do an extra module from the previous year plus those for the new year & other extra curricular activities...

It seems rather daunting writing it down but I'm just hoping that just as always I'll take it one day at a time and of course seek the Lord in it all coz that's where my strength comes from ...always!!...

Ant carrying the biscuit load- hard work...:-)

Proverbs 14:23 "All hard work brings profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty"

Colossians 3:23:24 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward"

Proverbs 13:4 "Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will prosper"


So my new goals for this year are;

1. Better time management
2. Day apart each week for studies
3. Plan days around fun, studies + work and not just go with the flow (unplanned)
4. Develop myself more

I think 4 is enough for now. So i'll see how I cope with these goals from next week. God willing I'll be able to achieve them with time....:-)

knock knock...

Who's there!!

WE ARE <3

Hold on or Let go

So I was reading Texttextiles's update on " Emili Sande...walk away" and it was a song that talks about relationships and knowing when to let go and move on... I didn't really pay attention to the song but all I remember is this comment. So I just thought of the times that we have wanted certain things to happen so badly especially in relationships/ friendships so we go the extra mile even when the other person does not seem to care as much. So there is me sitting there thinking, "I guess I need to let go now and move on". But then I watch lauryn Hill's Speech and she makes a slight comment about serving others and Loving others even when we do not recieve anything back which Christ has already made clear but i guess sometimes we or maybe I forget. So basically, the time that we show true love is when we love others regardless of them not paying attention or acting like they care ....or whatever else they may do.

So the MORALE of the Story is "LOVE one another REGARDLESS....:-)

"Be Useful" by majorsteps

So i was going through my blog subscriptions as usual and I came across majorsteps' update on being useful...I thought I'd share it....why not!!

Hope u r inspired coz I am...

Be Useful!

"Be Useful to someone esp. when you have nothing to do...try and be a blessing unto someone because at almost every point in your life, you are a solution to someone's problem...Unless you find the reason you were put here on earth, you cannot live a purposeful life. Identify what you can do to help people in all situations... E.g.You know you may be a kettle but unless you boil water, you are useless(not serving your purpose)....what is it you think you are supposed to be doing here on earth? identify what it is....Usually, the answer is in things you do that you do not mind not being paid for and serve others in that area...You are guaranteed more fulfillment and happiness that way than any other way you choose to live your life...if you doubt this, try and find your purpose and see if you do not feel fulfilled and validated....I DARE YOU!!!!! "